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Your heart is going to pop out of your chest.Ĭoach Swearingen yells something, and I swivel my head to look at him, watching his lips move in slow motion. My stick wobbles as I juggle it, trying to keep it from clattering on the ice. My brain wants to climb out of my head and push the tension away.

My throat tightens and it’s all I can do to not rip off my helmet. Panic claws at my body as the cold air around me grows hot and thick.

It’s not her, but something about the voice is familiar enough that it sends me back in time to a place when I thought the world was golden.

Somewhere off in the distance, a lone female fan yells, “Go, Z!” and chills race down my spine. If you want to end up a champion, you have to climb the biggest mountains one step at a time, and right now this team is Mt. Cold determination builds, battling with my racing heart as I grit my teeth. They also kicked our asses last year during the Frozen Four. It’s just a regular season game, but the rivalry between our universities goes back forty years. “Yeah.” One of the opposing defensemen catches my eye and makes a lewd gesture with his hands. He slaps me on the back with his gloved hand and points his stick toward the Minnesota-Duluth players. Reece, my younger brother and another version of myself-so much so that it’s eerie-skates up on the other side. He’ll think I can’t keep my shit together when it really counts. Without even looking, I know the redheaded behemoth is assessing me-probably with a scowl on his bearded face. “Z? You good?” It’s Eric, my winger and best friend. Briefly, my thoughts go to the people in the stands. My jaw tightens as I clench my fists, physically willing myself to push one skate in front of the other.ĭressed in our black and gold, the team and I move to the center of the rink and up to the faceoff. Use it as energy.īut this…this feels different. It’s just nerves in front of the home crowd. Deep breaths usually chill me out when performance anxiety hits, but the arena spins, and I resist the urge to skate back to the bench and put my head between my legs. It doesn’t, and I inhale slowly through my nose then out through my mouth. Sure, I scored two goals in the first two periods even after some heavy body checks, but that’s not enough if I want to break the tie.īut the more I think about the fact that my chest is thumping faster than it should, the worse it gets. I push those thoughts down and skate onto the rink, ignoring my out-of-control heartbeat. I picture the headlines now: D-1 hockey player dies during biggest rivalry event of the year. When I showed up for tonight’s game, I didn’t know it would try to kill me. Boyfriend Bargain (Hawthorne University #1)įor all the sparkly unicorns.

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